Welcome to another Fresh Start Monday, where we change the narrative… Navigating change in these unprecedented times have become critically important to us living a full life. Even with the right skillset, sometimes we are left wondering, did I do the right thing? Did I make the right move? Today we will be looking at the disappointment we feel.
Disappointment speaks to the sadness we experience when our hopes or expectations aren’t fulfilled. And this is quite normal and okay. It is okay for us to feel disappointed; it is okay for us to experience sadness but what is not okay is staying there too long.
It is good practice to make plans and work towards them, for without goals we would just be going around aimlessly. And it is also good practice, to be flexible in our minds knowing that most times things don’t go as planned. Does this mean we shouldn’t plan? Absolutely not!
We are often times devastated by the failings of our Plan A, forgetting that we still have letters B-Z. So, whatever is learnt from the failure of Plan A, correct those measures and move forward with Plan B.
In our planning process we normally assess our strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats. Most times we don’t spell it out in that way, but we will think, what opportunities do I have? Do I have a network in this area? Why wouldn’t this work? In thinking of these scenarios in our minds we are preparing for eventualities that may occur. And this preparation, even if it is mental only, helps us to move forward after our plans fall through.
Yes, we are heart-broken when plans don’t work. Yes, it can be devastating. Yes, it can be overwhelming and leave us weary. But… life goes on. Remember, that many times there are things that are simply out of our control. Those of us, who are working at our plans, are usually diligent which means more often than not, we will do that which is required of us. So, we don’t need to be too hard on ourselves and fight life.
Life comes with the good, the bad and the indifferent, therefore, we will find ourselves at different places on the spectrum from time to time. We will find ourselves in immense joy, unspeakable sadness and the bland of indifference. All our emotions are important and it is okay to experience them all.
May we be brave enough to experience our high, lows and in between, being all present. If we should think about our experiences, we realize that we experience sadness and joy mixed together… we sometimes find ourselves crying but cannot help but laugh, and that’s because seasons run into each other so while we are mourning a season that ended, another is beginning and we are excited. But if we are not careful, sometimes we try to hold on to the old season and miss the new season.
And yes, sometimes we mess up and that too is okay. We are not perfect and God has blessed us with freewill, so yes, we mess up. Whether, our mistakes or the disappointments were cause by lack of planning and preparation, I do not know, what I do know however, is that these experiences can make us better. We can learn how things ought to be done and ought not to be done, or simply unsuccessful ways and successful ones.
“It is in that moment when we feel like all hope is lost and the burden is too heavy to bear, that things seem impossible and unachievable, but it only seems that way, that’s not the reality.” – Clayton Hamilton
May we be all present, even in our times of disappointment and change our narrative…
Written by Vanesia Bowden